Study Break Quality Reflects RA’s Break-up

By Walker King

April 20, 2014

Totino’s Pizza Rolls were provided for residents at May House study break this Sunday for the second week in a row, an anomaly many residents attribute to May RA Cynthia Palmer’s recent break-up.

“Pizza rolls two weeks in a row,” said a resident who wished to remain anonymous. “And before that were brownies from a mix, not to mention the sliced apples and a half-emptyjar of peanut butter a month ago. We just don’t know what to do.”

Palmer, who “mutually” parted ways with her long-term boyfriend six weeks ago, has been generally sullen and moody around the house, report many residents, but her continued neglect of her study break duties is the final straw.

“It’s one thing not to put together every study break with love and care,” said Alfonzo Vasquez, another resident. “But she just throws down the baking tray and sprints out of the room on the verge of tears. Would it really be too much to ask her to smile every once in a while?”

When asked by Dealer reporters whether her personal life could be affecting her RA responsibilities, Palmer fiercely denied the accusations. Told the allegations came from her residents, Palmer curled up into a ball and began to weep openly.

“I guess no one will ever appreciate anything I do for them!” Palmer said, curled into a ball and weeping.

Residents of May house remain nonchalant. “Yeah, she’ll be fine,” said Vazquez. “ Maybe if she spent more time on study break, she’d feel better. This is just like the time our RH’s kid drowned and they didn’t plan a new house trip for a month.”