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Aug. 10, 2015
As of last Tuesday, University of Chicago student Jim Jackson has disappeared in order to “hunt”.
According to multiple sources, Jim was working on creating his fall schedule when he suddenly sniffed the air, proclaimed “it’s rabbit season,” grabbed his crossbow, and sprinted out of Renee Granville-Grossman Commons.
After extensive research, the Shady Dealer confirmed that it is in fact rabbit season.
“When I saw his crossbow, I thought he might be planning on sleeping in the lounge, but I wasn’t sure.” Said Jim’s roommate. “His collection of hunting trophies was definitely a red flag.”
The hunt was further foreshadowed by Jim’s profile picture and cover photo on Facebook, which were both the Remington Arms logo.
“In hindsight, I probably should not have put ‘feasting on wild game” and ‘the stuffed carcasses of my triumphs’ on the hobbies/interests section of the housing form,” said Jim
Jim was last seen lying prone in a full-body camouflagecamaflouge suit along the Midway talking to his crossbow, named Sheila.
