Parties to look out for in 2013
By Robin Ye
Aug. 2, 2013
The brochures promised it all: eternal laughter on the quad, casual, enjoyable studying, and a diverse set of friends assembled from the far regions of the world, and the Midwest. However, what the brochures won’t tell you about is the incredible nightlife on campus. Besides your weekly ho-hum Bar Night and Thirsty Thursday (for those of you who can speak Greek), here are the parties you should look out for.
Parties to Look Out for
- Halloween
“Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” – Psalm 151
- The Ones in the Reg
It’s the most popular research library on campus. You can reserve large study rooms for some late night cram sessions or giving-up parties.
Some of us are just highly functioning drunks. Reserve large study rooms for late night cram sessions/giving—up parties.
- Any Canadian holiday
Boxing Day. Canadian Thanksgiving. We go H.A.M., they go (Canadian) Bacon.
- That party you don’t remember
You’ll never know!
- Dranksgiving/Black Friday
Little known fact: the term “Black” Friday was originally “Blackout” Friday, coined in 1901 by UChicago’s first president William Rainey Harper to describe the aftereffects of his infamous Thanksgiving tradition of downing straight vodka via turkey baster.
The First Party after breaking up with your Highschool Boyfriend/Girlfriend
What was his name again? This is the party where you get to replace the fluids you’ve lost in tears with pure grain alcohol. Make sure to find your next relationship at this party before the darkness sets in.
- Presidents’ Day
Fun Fact: Abraham Lincoln’s Cabinet commonly referred to him as the “Liquored Liberator”. His Secret Service codename was “Guzzler”. Cheers to the Land of Lincoln!
- The awkward one where you’re left in the corner full of guys, casually sippin’ and staring at the girls at the other end of the room while trying really hard to not be the corner kids.
Whoops. Brb crying.
- Valentine’s Day
- Good Friday-Easter
If you’re single and unhappy about it, this is an incredibly dangerous day. Make wise decisions, everyone.
4/20 High-cycle tour with John Boyer
-One of the only University sponsored parties worth going to, this herbally supplemented tour of the southside and its after party won’t let you down.
- Ask the Christians what they do.
- D-Day
Contrary to popular belief, the D definitely stands for Drank.
- That one where you think to yourself: “Wow, that was a really enjoyable party. I’m glad I went!”
They don’t come around that often, so make sure to keep your eyes peeled.
