![]()
Nov. 12, 2016
PokemonPokémon Sun and Moon came out on November 18th, and we are head over heels in love with the new guys. Let’s have some wholesome fun and look at the coolest new Pokkeépals! Please don’t mMasturbate to this.
Rowlet
(Picture of Rowlet)
This cute little owl is a grass and flying type PokémonPokémonPokemon. While it looks cute, it can evolve into a super powerful bird Decidueye. Please, for God’s sake, don’t jack off to this. This game is for kids.
Charjabug
(Picture of Charjabug)
Looks pretty innocent, but nope! Charjabug is a dangerous Pokémon! n pokemon! With its ability to learn both bug and electric moves, it is a real threat to any Gym Leader. Put your dick back in your pants. This is not appropriate. What would your family think if they saw you masturbating to Pokemon Pokémon? What would your mom think?
Bruxish
(Picture of Bruxish)
No. No. No. We get it, Bruxish has big lips, and while big lips may be attractive onthat might turn you on in humans, Bruxish is a fish. Do you masturbate to normal-looking fish? Is it the fact that these creatures are animals that turns you on? Or that they look cartoonish? Or is it it sort of the uncanny valley of Pokémon pokemon being between animals and cartoons that gives you your jollies? Sick fuck.
Bewear
(Picture of Bewear)
You are masturbating to a cartoon bear. Look at it; the guy just wants to give you a hug, and you are masturbating to it. If I could leak your information to every potential employer you will ever encounteraccomplish, I would. The world becomes a better place when we can all look at carton bears together and DO NOT RUB ONE OUT. This is NOT hard.
I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. I just wanna play Pokémon Pokemon, OK? I just wanna catch them all like the dream, and this is really hard to or mewatchwatch. Can we please just enjoy a listicle on the new Pokémon pokemon? This only comes every few years. And I get it, this guy looks stupid, but it still reminds me at least of a better time, when I was more youthful, and…innocent…and…lustful for life.
Tsareena
(Picture of Tsareena)
Nnnnngh….ooooh…..Nnnnnnnngh….ngh..ngh.ngh oh oh oh oh oh. NNNNggghggHHHH
