Chicago Shady Dealer

How Subtly Do You Flirt with Your TA?

By Morgan Pantuck
Nov. 9, 2015

1. You run into your TA in Ex Libris. You:

a. Wave at them from the coffee line

b. Make small talk about class

c. Tell them how drunk you plan on getting this weekend

d. Offer to blow them behind the soda machine

2. Your TA drops a piece of chalk on the floor. You:

a. Giggle cutely

b. Bend over to retrieve it for them

c. Ask if they’re always so clumsy with their hands

d. Write “ffuck me right now!” on the board

3. Your TA answers your panicked email at 1:00AM the night before a big exam. You respond:

a. “You’re the best!!”

b. “Oh my gosh, what can I do to repay you?”

c. “You’re up late, huh? ;)”

d. “Would you like to have sex?”

4. Your TA mentions that they love chocolate. You:

a. Mention a great candy shoppe that you know about

b. Bring Hershey’s kisses to class and casually offer them one

c. Start referring to yourself as “white chocolate”

d. Attend discussion naked and covered in syrup

5. Your TA writes “Ggreat Jjob!” on your homework. You spend the rest of class doodling:

a. Hearts around their initials

b. Pictures of their face

c. The Kama Ssutra

d. Your TA behind the soda machine

RESULTS:

Mostly A’s: You’re a very shy, subtle flirter. Don’t worry, they’ll notice you one day!

Mostly B’s: You’re a friendly, out-going flirter. The perfect balance!

Mostly C’s: Whoah there, stud. You’re an aggressive flirter. Way to be confident!

Mostly D’s: You are either having sex with your TA right now, or legally forbidden from coming within 100 yards of them or their property. Nice!