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Nov. 12, 2016
It’s beginning a lot like Christmas, all over my dorm room’s floor…
Every single time I come home from a long night of studying in the Reg, there he is, jingling his bells to Jingle Bells. I haven’t had a Silent Night since November 1st. It’s been soggy sheets since. Now, I can’t sleep. I’m having trouble eating. I can’t even listen to my favorite Christmas songs anymore without thinking of him. I can’t even go back to my room past 8 o’clock, or else I’ll hear him having a jolly ol’ time in his personal winter wonderland. What can I do to stop this jolly jacker? I don’t think I can handle another white Christmas. I just want my room back.
Sincerely,
Santa Claus Won’t Stop Coming to Town
