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June 29, 2016
1. Do I have 1. Do I have restless leg syndrome? My leg wiggles a lot. Well, not a ton, but more than usual. I’d say a medium amount of wiggling, but in a concerning way. Is that a problem? I would ask my doctor, but he has recently informed me that he will no longer reply to my frequent medical inquiries. 2. Why is everything slightly grey? When I looked at an orange this morning, the color seemed wrong. I might be imagining it, but I think everything around me is unusually greyish. If my doctor were still answering my emails, I would ask him why my eyes are rapidly decaying and how loudly I should scream. Alas, this is not the case. 3. If spiders were inside of me, would I know about it? On the off-chance that spiders had crawled inside my mouth while I was sleeping, and were now laying eggs in my digestive tract, would I know about it? If not, why do I have the nagging feeling that this has happened? I would request that my doctor explain my spider-themed fears, but I think his secretary blocked my phone number. 4. How many moles is too many? I understand that most people have moles, but I am concerned about the number that are growing on my skin. The last time I asked this question, my doctor told me “those aren’t moles, they are freckles,” and also “please do not visit me at home.” However, I’ve found six new blemishes since then, and I’m worried that they might all grow together into a malignant lump, or something that leaks weird fluid. If my doctor hadn’t changed his name and home address, I would be ask him to re-examine my numerous moles. 5. Are my tonsils too muscular? I read in a women’s magazine that men will reject me if my tonsils are too muscular. I would love to demand that my doctor scrutinize the muscularity of my tonsils, but life is cruel, Dr. Abrahams is moving to Switzerland, and I will simply have to continue trying to examine them on my own. restless leg syndrome? My leg wiggles a lot. Well, not a ton, but more than usual. I’d say a medium amount of wiggling, but in a concerning way. Is that a problem? I would ask my doctor, but he has recently informed me that he will no longer reply to my frequent medical inquiries. 2. Why is everything slightly grey? When I looked at an orange this morning, the color seemed wrong. I might be imagining it, but I think everything around me is unusually greyish. If my doctor were still answering my emails, I would ask him why my eyes are rapidly decaying and how loudly I should scream. Alas, this is not the case. 3. If spiders were inside of me, would I know about it? On the off-chance that spiders had crawled inside my mouth while I was sleeping, and were now laying eggs in my digestive tract, would I know about it? If not, why do I have the nagging feeling that this has happened? I would request that my doctor explain my spider-themed fears, but I think his secretary blocked my phone number. 4. How many moles is too many? I understand that most people have moles, but I am concerned about the number that are growing on my skin. The last time I asked this question, my doctor told me “those aren’t moles, they are freckles,” and also “please do not visit me at home.” However, I’ve found six new blemishes since then, and I’m worried that they might all grow together into a malignant lump, or something that leaks weird fluid. If my doctor hadn’t changed his name and home address, I would be ask him to re-examine my numerous moles. 5. Are my tonsils too muscular? I read in a women’s magazine that men will reject me if my tonsils are too muscular. I would love to demand that my doctor scrutinize the muscularity of my tonsils, but life is cruel, Dr. Abrahams is moving to Switzerland, and I will simply have to continue trying to examine them on my own. 1. Do I have restless leg syndrome?
My leg wiggles a lot. Well, not a ton, but more than usual. I’d say a medium amount of wiggling, but in a concerning way. Is that a problem? I would ask my doctor, but he has recently informed me that he will no longer reply to my frequent medical inquiries.
2. Why is everything slightly gray?
When I looked at an orange this morning, the color seemed wrong. I might be imagining it, but I think everything around me is unusually grayish. If my doctor were still answering my emails, I would ask him why my eyes are rapidly decaying and how loudly I should scream. Alas, this is not the case.
3. If spiders were inside of me, would I know about it?
On the off-chance that spiders had crawled inside my mouth while I was sleeping, and were now laying eggs in my digestive tract, would I know about it? If not, why do I have the nagging feeling that this has happened? I would request that my doctor explain my spider-themed fears, but I think his secretary blocked my phone number.
4. How many moles is too many?
I understand that most people have moles, but I am concerned about the number that are growing on my skin. The last time I asked this question, my doctor told me, “Those aren’t moles, they are freckles,” and also, “Please do not visit me at home.” However, I’ve found six new blemishes since then, and I’m worried that they might all grow together into a malignant lump, or something that leaks weird fluid. If my doctor hadn’t changed his name and home address, I would ask him to re-examine my numerous moles.
5. Are my tonsils too muscular?
I read in a women’s magazine that men will reject me if my tonsils are too muscular. I would love to demand that my doctor scrutinize the muscularity of my tonsils, but life is cruel, Dr. Abrahams is moving to Switzerland, and I will simply have to continue trying to examine them on my own.
