Every HUMA Class Ranked by How Badly You Have to Shit During it

By Christian Villanueva

Nov. 11, 2018

8. Readings in World Literature

How can a class make you need to poop? You don’t have to poop at all! You’re having a blast reading The Odyssey and definitely won’t have to shit for a while.

7. Greece and Rome: Texts, Traditions, Transformations

Admit it, you might be intrigued by Homer’s Iliad, but you feel it. Barring the poor soul who got Stony their first year, you should be fine to make it back to your dorm before it’s too late.

6. Philosophical Perspectives

You’ve been holding it in for a while, but if you keep clenching it shouldn’t be a problem.

5. Poetry and the Human

Let’s face it. Poetry is kind of shitty and the only thing it makes you want to do is shit. You could risk it and wait for class to end, but you definitely aren’t making it any further than that.

4. Media Aesthetics

Media Aesthetics? More like Media Athletics. Anyway, you’ll probably have to poop soon because you’re starting to fiddle and squirm in your chair.

3. Human Being and Citizen

You were into the great discussion your class had going, but you haven’t participated in a few minutes because you have to poop pretty bad. You’re almost sweating.

2. Language and the Human

Oh my God, did you have Taco Bell for lunch? It moved through you like the Germans through France, and now instead of debating Plato with your classmates, you’re internally debating whether or not you’ll shit yourself if you try to get up and run to the single-user down the hall.

1. Reading Cultures

You literally already shit yourself. You confidently shit yourself as soon as you walked into class and now everyone is too afraid to ask you to leave.