Chicago Shady Dealer Calling It Quits

By James Ekstrom and Chris Deakin

April 1, 2014

To Whom it May Concern:

After nearly 10 years as a publication, it has come to our attention that the editorial board, along with our loyal readership, has been duped. From the very beginning, we have striven to print useful and factual news for the edification of undergraduates. Recent investigations revealed that almost every news story we have ever printed was not in fact a piece of honest journalism, but fabricated by our duplicitous writing staff.

We have decided the only honorable way forward is to shutter our doors as a news outlet, and begin our path to atonement by helping out those who we hurt the most with our slander: the University bureaucracy. We are still exploring our options, but whatever we do, we promise to redouble our commitment to truth and sincerity.

Our most sincere Apologies,

James Ekstrom and Christopher Deakin,

Editors-in-Chief of the Chicago Shady Dealer