Brangenlina visits Chicago, adopts Broadview residents
By Nora Helfand
Oct. 21, 2012
Hollywood power couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie announced Sunday that they would be adopting a child from a remote locale: University of Chicagos Broadview residence hall. Pitt and Jolie, who initially visited the Broadview to do charity work with the locals, “fell in love with its unique culture.”
It has a sort of exotic charm, explained Jolie. The students here are odd creatures, very skittish and generally holed up in their rooms. It took days before we saw a student socialize with another student. Its fascinating to watch.
Yes, added Pitt, and in our room I get such a broad view of, ah – he smiled lasciviously at Jolie, who glared back um, er, the lake.
The Broadview houses a highly destitute tribe of students, equipped only with the clothes on their backs and tens of thousands of dollars from their parents. They must walk over a mile in the bitter cold for sustenance. Pitt and Jolie came to ease their burden by delivering meals directly to them. It was after participating in the students ritual of hanging out in the lobby that the couple knew what they wanted.
The local color is a joy to witness, remarked Pitt. We wanted to take some of that with us…literally, in the form of a student. Theyre beautiful people who just got the short end of the stick with regards to housing. Many of these students were sent here because they got in trouble with school authorities and couldnt be housed anywhere else. Its like Australia crossed with, like, a slum.
The couple ultimately decided on a 19-year-old named Noah, known in the local parlance as the “Dungeon Master”, to join their growing family. For the most part, the Iowan native was seems to have been warmly welcomed in to the group of “siblings”. Jolie noted that the other kids had already invited him to join them on their outing to the “Museum of Science and Industry, and…shit what else is there here?”
Although it has been an enjoyable and eye-opening stay in Broadview, Brangelina must now set their sights on the next adventure, with Noah and the others in tow. Next, we might do relief work in that dilapidated building on 55th and University, says Pitt. God, that place is a shithole.
The couple also brought their prior children with on the trip.
