Apple Unveils Groundbreaking Cloud-Based Irrigation System
By Isaac Krone
Oct. 24, 2014
This Thursday, tech giant Apple Inc. astonished the world by unveiling a revolutionary cloud-based system for delivering water to farmers in developing and industrialized nations.
At a press conference announcing the product, Apple CEO Tim Cook said, “iWet is the next big thing in liquid dispersal systems. Users can upload water to the cloud in our patented, $2 million evaporation troughs, and our iCloud software will store and redistribute it among all users as our algorithms see fit. There’s no more worrying about when to call in water trucks or how big the utility bill will get. We take care of everything. Simple.”
Apple plans on using iWet to help users go green – documents leaked to The Dealer detail plans for solarpowered water uploading using particulate transfer. This uploading system targets markets the tech giant has yet to penetrate, such as the high seas.
Privacy remains a top concern among possible clients. Dennis Regalado, an industry watchdog from Clark County, Nevada, worries that Apple’s remote uploading systems will put dangerous stress on the region’s already dwindling water supplies. “Their uptake needs to be reined in. Lake Powell is already at historic lows, and unless it’s scaled back , we’re only going to lose more and more water, which Apple may or may not download back to us. Irresponsible uploading of water – that is just like Californians to do.”
Others are worried not about unwanted uploading but downloading, claiming Apple’s track record on the subject is worrisome. “I’m just worried that the cloud could dump a lot of water on me without my approval,” said Mac user Jenny O’Hara, “It would be just like them to use iWet to flood us with gifts that nobody wants.”
While a number of consumers have been vocal about their excitement for , some remain unimpressed. The Dealer spoke with one such skeptic on condition of anonymity. “I just don’t get what all the fuss is about. Apple fanboys will get their fancy cloud-based irrigation system for their devices, but the truth is, Android users have had this kind of technology for the past nine thousand years.”
