A Letter from the Editors
By Matthew Goldenberg and Walker King
Aug. 17, 2015
Dear Members of the UChicago Community,
It’s with a heavy heart that we announce the return of the Chicago Shady Dealer for another year of publication and the assumption of editing duties by Walker King and Matthew Goldenberg.
Look, we’re not happy about this either. When the powers-that-be told us we were going to be editing the Dealer this year, we told them that that was right out, that Matt and Walker aren’t ready for the big show, the big dance, the big farm upstate where he can run with the other horses, the Big Island, finally settling down with Mr. Big, Big with Tom Hanks, bingo night. Two weeks later we woke up from our stroke-induced coma and told them we were quitting.
But in the end, they had all the leverage. They bought us celebratory retirement balloons just to pop them in our faces. They leaked our diaries to InTouch magazine with fake entries calling Lucifer “the next Buddy Holly.” They kidnapped Walker’s dog.
So we caved, which is really your only option when dealing with a party willing to resort to dog abduction. And what’s more, we’re going to turn into the skid. Other, lesser, editors might try and make a bad paper on purpose, like the protagonists of the classic film Robin Hood: Men in Tights. But not us. We’re going to deliver you the best material yet from our writers
We’ve all made mistakes. Just like you did by coming to this school. Unlike you, we can’t get out of editing the Shady Dealer by transferring to Brown. We may destroy our bodies, minds, and reputations, but we hope that it will make you laugh.
Matthew Goldenberg and Walker King
Editors in Chief, The Chicago Shady Dealer
