10 Vegetables I Want To Grow

Tomato. The tomato is a wondrous red vegetable that can be used to make ketchup or marinara sauce.. A scientist once told me that the tomato is a fruit. Thankfully, I don’t believe in science, so tomato still makes this list.
Guns. I did not know you could grow guns in the soil. Thankfully, Ted Cruz told me that guns are America’s most important crop. Ted Cruz is a firebrand for the people, and will stick it to those government folks.
Tomatoe. Everyone loves this brownish cousin to the tomato. Using tomatoes, one can make delicious French fries to put your ketchup sauce on.
Corn. It tastes good. I put corn as a garnish to my favorite meals, such as butter. It can also become ethanol, which is an essential product. Most importantly, I can use the corn stalks to make a miniature raft for Fido in case the floods come again.
Zucchini. I only grow this because I fucking hate cucumbers. Zucchinis are very similar to cucumbers, so I grow a bunch of them in order to spite the cucumbers.
Jobs. Ted Cruz said that jobs are America’s most important crop. Ted Cruz is willing to go the extra mile to protect the working man’s rights.s.

A Wife. The farm gets lonely at times, and a darling gal would brighten up my life. This crop has not been been growing poorlywell, regardless of how much seed I sow into the earth.

Marijuana. See, this is a tricky one. I grow marijuana in a separate field so that all the dirty hipsters and Bernie supporters congregate and steal my Mary Jane plants. Then, when they all gather, I set the field on fire. Almost all the Democrats die. This is great for soil quality.
Pepper. I’ve tried to grow peppers before, but I when I went to the seed store I got scared by the overwhelming color array of them. Green peppers., rRed peppers., yYellow peppers. I’m a farmer, not a damned picture painter man.
Wheat. My life dream is to make my own wheat beer, then create a roadside pit stop called tThe Trail of Beers. The government said I can’t call my place that, but Ted Cruz supports the middle class’ naming rights. Cruz 2016!