“Practicals” and Other Words to Say at Your House Table So People Know You’re Cool
- Practicals: This apparently has something to do with the biz-econ major. Hopefully, people will think you’re a third year in disguise and not just stressed about getting into a club.
- Percentile: Essential when mentioning the intricacies of your SAT score.
- Cognitive: Wow, somebody’s really paying attention in Mind!
- Equity: Has the distinct advantage of suggesting either social justice or corporate greed depending on who you’re talking to.
- Free expression: Remember, UChicago thinks it’s essential so you’d better say it a lot, just to be safe.
- Demure: Honestly, this one is outdated. It used to be UChicago code for super cool and interesting, but now you just seem like a loser on TikTok.
- Coffee: Studies show a 100% correlation between drinking coffee and being cool, so you better get used to it.
- Well, actually: Guarantees that people will be glad for your enlightened takes on anything and everything about their own lives, and not that you will come off as a mansplaining “that kid.”
- Yoierkd: The newest gen alpha slang word! Use as often as physically possible.
Lena Birkholz is a second-year in the College who somehow seems to be turning out exactly like her parents. When not writing biting exposes of the university for the Dealer, Lena enjoys mispronouncing the word "corps", jaywalking and taking up space in coffeeshops
