Nepo Baby Alert! King’s Son Is Named New King

October 11, 1300

THE PALACE – What a rip off! It was announced today that the next king of the realm would be the current king’s dipshit son. In a move critics are calling “a blow to meritocratic values,” royal officials declared that the crown would pass to the King’s first-born son after the King died.

“Everyone knows the Prince got where he is because of his dad,” said one peasant, who asked for anonymity lest he be arrested and hung upside down by his ankles in the town square. “The Prince likes to pretend that it was all because of hard work and gumption, but he had a leg up on basically everyone in becoming king.”

Sources within the palace have provided Ye Olde Shady Dealer with resumes submitted for consideration to become king. While some candidates for the throne showed impressive previous experience in governing, the Prince’s CV was a single page document with the words “DON’T YOU KNOW WHO MY DAD IS?” written at the top. One hopes the Prince won’t bring this sense of entitlement with him when he is given the title Sovereign King of the Realm.