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Oct. 27, 2015
As many campus beefs go nowadays, it all started with a tweet.
Last week, John “Jay” Ellison, the Ddean of Sstudents in the College, using the Twitter handle @JohnQuoteJayQuoteEllison,using the Ttwitter handle @JohnQuoteJayQuoteEllison, wrote the seemingly innocent tweet: “Looking forward to a relaxing day with no major activities.” He was using the Twitter handle @JohnQuoteJayQuoteEllison.
Some found the statement harmless, but fans of the Uuniversity’s Major Activities Board, or MAB, quickly jumped in and pointed out the targeted attackslur. The following tweets were all written by student accounts:
“Music >>>>>> Deans”
“I love concerts and hate all administration #music”
“you’re turning our campus into the town from footloose”
“lol i bet if we polled the student body most people would side with mab”
“@UChicagoMab do you see this shit??????”
Within hours, MAB’s own Ttwitter account, @UChicagoMAB responded: “@JohnQuoteJayQuoteEllison fight us. we’ll keep planning major activities til the day we die #summerbreeze #music”
Ellison continued his rampage: “At first I just wanted to have a relaxing day, but now I have to say more: music has no place on this campus,.” and “I don’t care about professionalism any more, FUCK ALL MAJOR EVENTS.”
At this point various other campus administrators started piping upin with their two cents on the matter. Michele Rasmussen, Ddean of Sstudents in the University, @RagingRasmussen, wrote, “#StandWithEllison MUSIC IS BAD. THE DEANS ALL HATE MUSIC!”. and Mminutes later, Karen Warren Coleman, the Vvice Ppresident for Ccampus Llife and Sstudent Sservices, @KareTooMuchKaren, wrote, “Personally I’m fine with minor activities, but we’ve had too many major ones and it’s time to shut it down.”
Both Ttwitter and the uchicago-secure Wwi–Ffi network actually crashed briefly for about eleven minutes while the whole campus was stirred up, andso many students turned to Instagram to voice their opinions during this time. But unbeknownst to all, MAB was hard at work crafting a “diss track” on their Soundcloud account (soundcloud.com/uchicagomab).
As soon as the campus regained Wwi–Ffi, the track dropped and immediately went viral. For approximately four and a half minutes, the members of the Major Activities Board seem to have just yelled, “We like music and planning major activities. We are the Major Activities Board,.” on repeat over an edgy and decidedly “cool” beat.
Students are eagerly awaiting the response of the Ddeans.
