How to Use a Study Room You Haven’t Reserved

By Morgan Pantuck

Feb. 18, 2016

Step 1: Be Confident.

Using a group room for individual study is an exercise in confidence. Maybe you belong there, maybe you don’t. Fake it till you make it. If someone asks, “Ddo you have this room reserved?”, simply raise one eyebrow and ask, “Ddo you?” Your refusal to back down will probably make them give up and leave.

Step 2: Create Imaginary Friends.

Bring an extra jacket and cover the other half of the table in pieces of scrap paper and old problem sets. If someone tries to kick you out by pulling the “groups only” card, claim your friend is taking a study break or crying in the bathroom. Works every time.

Step 3: Beg.

“Please don’t make me go to the second floor. Please.”

Step 4: Lick Everything.

If it works with food, it works with study rooms. Oh, you want this chalkboard? Too bad I claimed it with my saliva, bitches!

Step 5: Accept Defeat.

Alright, so an OChem TA and his 15 students booked this room in advance an entire week ago. So what. Gather up your belongings and the fragments of your shattered pride and wander back into the body of the Reg.

Step 6: Repeat.

After 20 minutes of aimless drifting, you will eventually find another empty room to colonize. Why learn from your mistakes when you can simply continue to repeat them? Besides, there’s no way this one is also booked, right?