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Oct. 14, 2016
It is high time that the University of Chicago features a woman on the front of the Maroon Dollar. The University of Chicago has been a premier institution since the 1900s, and yet they have never once featured a person of color or of vagina[1] on their coinage.
Now, before you get your boxer shorts in a twist, I know what you’re going to say: “We can’t put a woman on the maroon dollar because maroon dollars aren’t real”. WBut we all know this is not true. Nobody wants to admit it, but we all know that every time you use maroon dollars, images of John D Rockefeller whispering “crescat scientia” flash before your eyes until you fail a class or make a donation to the University.
Whether or not it is ethical for the university to somehow brainwash all of us is obviously a separate issue entirely and distracts us from the major problem at hand: they choose to put a white man on the mental image of a maroon dollar. All genders, sexes, and races deserve representation in the university’s strange brainwashing experiment on the student population. The fact that the administration insists on inundating us with this image of Rockefeller shows that they have no respect for the accomplishments of female alumni and donors.
The University of Chicago has no business pretending that they respect women and people of color until they add some more representation to their subliminal patriarchal mental currency. If you are also passionate about this issue, please consider mentally signing my petition. We are planning to mentally project it to the administration next Tuesday afternoon.
[1] Or anyone of non-male gender identity.
