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Feb. 23, 2017
Trump Administration Announces Executive Task Force on Inclusivity of the Gays, Illegals, and Blacks
On Wednesday, Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced the development of an executive branch office to help heal a divided nation. The Executive Task Force on Inclusivity of the Gays, Illegals, and Blacks (ETFGIB) is set to launch next month. While considered a potential saving grace for an administration falling in the polls, the announcement caused quite a controversy.
“We need to unite the demographics torn apart by Obama’s liberal identity politics agenda,” Spicer iterated. “Look at the protests around this country against this administration’s every move. I’d say we’re uniting a lot of people, wouldn’t you?”
Spicer continued by saying that the Trump Administration views dialogue between marginalized groups as divisive. In developing the framework of the task force, Spicer said the administration tried to find a balance between nuance and big-tent strategies. “It seems like a lot of marginalized groups talk at each other rather than with each other,” Spicer said. “We need America to realize that the party of Lincoln has, and always will be, the progressive party. Although naturally, our panel will consist of solely straight white men. The administration felt there could be conflicts of interest if any gays, illegals, or blacks were actually included on the panel.”
Later on in the conference, a CNN reporter asked what was being done to reach out to women, who are heavily impacted by Trump’s policies. “Unlike Hillary, the Trump Administration won’t stoop to playing the ‘woman-card’ or gender-baiting like Obama did with race. I mean, Hillary is a woman! She gender-baits by existing. Again, it’d be a conflict of interest for her or any woman to be handling women’s issues – she has too much skin in the game.”
At the end of the press conference after most cameras stopped rolling, Spicer was rumored to ask, “Also, women can vote now, right? What more work does this administration need to do? Wait, is that correct? I think most of them voted for us.”
