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Point: I have been forced to carry the spirit of Pierce on my shoulders. Counterpoint by construction worker: I have been forced to carry Pierce on my shoulders
By Daniel Moattar Aug. 2, 2013 Point: I have been forced to carry the spirit of Pierce on my shoulders. By Oliver Wateringcan II With the construction of the University of Chicago’s new…
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Dead Chicken Found in Dining Hall Sandwich
By Anna Newport May 27, 2013 Arley D. Cathey Dining Commons was officially closed Friday after a dead chicken was found in a lettuce and tomato sandwich. Although the fragment of fetid fowl…
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UChicago Admissions Rate ‘0%’
By Jeremy Archer April 25, 2013 Citing “new perspectives” in education and a desire to overtake Yale in national college rankings, the University Press Office announced today a new initiative entitled “Discard Undergraduates…
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Area man finds meaning in ancient Eastern holy book
By Daniel Moattar Feb. 24, 2013 In a world where many feel technology has run amok, where the Yankee dollar has taken top billing in our collective heart, and where patience and charity…
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Alexander: Great Ruler or Greatest Ruler
By Alexander the Great Feb. 4, 2013 Author’s Note: Alexander the Great apologizes in advance for the following display of enthusiasm – he is writing on his favorite topic, after all. What is…
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How are you wasting your New Year’s Eve?
By Daniel Moattar Jan. 3, 2013 How are YOU wasting your New Year’s Eve? 21% Reconciling day’s debauchery with resolutions, image of self as human being 17% Pretending to have any…
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Excuse me, is this where I email to unsubscribe from your listhost?
By Nora Helfand Nov. 10, 2012 Hi. Im not sure if this is where I go to do this, but could you please take me off your listhost? Ive already taken measures in…
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Arley D. Cathey buys naming rights to student
By Hannah Gitlin Oct. 21, 2012 Students at the University of Chicago were surprised when, on October 5th, University alumnus Arley D. Cathey, Ph.B ’50, acquired the naming rights to Eric Greene, a…
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Santa Looking to Split Uber from Midway
By Emily Feigenbaum Dec. 26, 2018 image via stuckattheairport.com After a long night of delivering Christmas presents to the bright-eyed children of the world, Santa Claus is heading back home to Hyde Park…
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DC & NYC to Restrict Immigration of Public Policy Majors
By Nico Aldape Dec. 5, 2018 “Y’all young, broke twenty-somethings are coming into our town and stealing the jobs from all us older broke twenty-somethings,” said District of Columbia resident Sydney Pulisic. “Fuck all of you.” Pulisic…
