Sept. 24, 2018
Navigating the University’s historic campus can be hard, especially during the hustle and bustle of O-Week! To learn your way around, here are the seven places you MUST barf this O-Week:
1. David and Reva Logan Center For The Arts
The David and Reva Logan Center For The Arts, or as I like to call it, “The David and Reva Logan Center For The Arts,” is the center of artistic and creative life here at UChicago. Located just a few blocks from Alpha Epsilon Pi, you can be sure to solidify your Art Hoe status by barfing here after the paint party!
2. The Historic Robie House
Frank Lloyd Wright’s iconic Robie House is both a masterpiece of the Prairie style and a convenient location to puke after you drink too much keg beer! With both its new exhibition (“Designs for Modern Living: Chairs by Frank Lloyd Wright”) and its convenient location right down the street from Delta Upsilon, this is a MUST barf.
3. The Quad
You’ve seen it in When Harry Met Sally, and you’ll see it nearly every day during your time here. The Quad is the center of life at any college and also The College. Be sure to christen your new life here by puking right in the middle of it. Note that the Quad is symmetrical, so if you barf on one side you MUST also barf on the other. A lot of commitment, but definitely worth the experience.
4. The Renaissance Society
This little gem of a place is hard to find but definitely worth the search. No, I’m not going to tell you where it is! But if you’re able to upchuck here during O-Week, I will think you are very cool and probably a good climber.
5. Henry Moore’s “Nuclear Energy” Sculpture
You missed the University’s month-long nuclear reaction fest! And more importantly, you missed the Shady Dealer’s Nuclear Symposium which was real and definitely not a scam to capitalize on the RSO catering allowance! You’d better catch up by barfing on this peanut skull thing.
6. Campus North Residential Commons [SHOULD THIS BE BLANK?]
7. The IOP
Everyone should barf here at least once during O-Week, if only for the history. Tucker Carlson has talked about puking here. Plus, this is where Dean Boyer was asked the best question in the history of the world ever: “If someone was about to barf on Sean Spicer and you had a silver tray to deflect the vomit but it would splatter on innocent students in the first row, would you do it?” To barf here is to join a legacy.