By Brian Baek April 20, 2018 The 2018 Major League Baseball season officially kicked off earlier this April, and fans across the baseball spectrum already cannot wait for the games to be over.…

By Te Amo Feb. 20, 2018 Te Amo Boba Bar Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard it all, you sniveling chumps. “Ugh, Te Amo’s so expensive”; “Why do I have to pay extra for boba?”;…

By Deb Mukerjee Jan. 29, 2018 Losing your friends in the snow Look, it happens. It’s cold and windy and we’re all wearing four pairs of pants and scarves over our seeing sockets.…

By Antonia Salisbury Oct. 17, 2017 Home of the day-ger, land of the neon bikini: – Miami, my Garden of Eden, I can never return to you. “Settled in the valley of two…

By Chase “The Fanatic” Harrison Aug. 25, 2017 Rooooooollllll ‘Roons! Give me an A (No!) Give me an B (No!) Give me an C (No!) Ok, g. give me an C- at least!…

By Morgan Pantuck, 5th Year Student Aug. 17, 2017 Incoming first year Brian Porter is extremely excited to be attending a top-tier institution like the University of Chicago where he can “finally gain…

By Morgan Pantuck May 8, 2017 5 Tips to Maximize The Efficiency of Your CryingBy Morgan Pantuck 1. Cry during meals. CWE, or “crying while eating,” is the hip new craze that all…

By Chase Harrison April 20, 2017 “This is Just like Hogwarts,” exclaims Prospie in NorthBy Chase HarrisonNoting its high ceilings and maze-like design, Prospie Jacqueline Robbins could not stop comparing the newly built…

By Adam Lowinger March 24, 2017 Last week’s meeting of The Plantain, The University of East Florida’s satirical newspaper descended into chaos following a pitch form one of its members. Contributor Nina Belleisa…

By Nik Varley, Chicago 2019 Feb. 7, 2017 Chicago, IL, 2019 – Philadelphia rapper Lil Uzi Vert reportedly received a standing ovation from a tearful crowd following his sold– out performance at Chicago’s…