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Masthead

Editors in Chief

Lena Birkholz, Jacob Halabe, Maisie Thompson

Managing Editor

Andrea Zhou

Deputy Managing Editor

Griffin Bonnin Jones

Layout Editor

Abby Beckler

Deputy Layout Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Justin Bilenker, Katherine Reynolds

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Issues

    Report: Guy Still Fucking Talking

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 30, 2023

    Reporters say Brent may be leaking second-hand embarrassment into the classroom air, and scientists urge all students to evacuate.

    read more
  • Issues

    Volume 16 Issue 4

    Chicago Shady Dealer / April 13, 2020

    read more

Read It and Weep

  • U.S. Declares Victory in Cold War as Bush Shellacs Gorbachev in Potato Sack Race
  • Richard Nixon Dazzles Nation With Beautiful Swimsuit Bod
  • Pigs Rooted Out of Truffle-Hunting Business by Sick New Dog Breed
  • New Statement From Hitler: “After Poland I’m Done Bro, Trust Me Bro, Deadass”
  • They wouldn’t let me into the Donner party and I am IRATE
  • Crazy New Party Drug Also Good for Surgery
  • 5 Tips to Make Sure You’re the King’s Top Mistress
  • Simone De Beauvoir Cancels Long-Awaited Sequel The Third Sex
  • Union Army Morale Skyrockets After President Lincoln’s Stunning Kazoo Solo
  • New Whig Political Party Objectively Has Stupidest Name

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