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[Redacted] is the Best Fucking Frat at UChicago, in a Tolstoyan Sense
If you ask me, if we were characters in Leo Tolstoy’s 1878 classic novel Anna Karenina, all of those guys in the other frats would 100% be Alexei Vronsky.
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Non-political Maroon Article Gets View
“We are asking around to make sure the click didn’t come from one of our staff, and so far, it hasn’t.”
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UChicago Booth School of Business Suggests University Impose Tariffs on International Students
The recommendation, published in a 300-page working paper entitled “Invisible Hands, Visible Fees,” outlines a dynamic pricing model in which students from abroad would pay additional “access tariffs” to enroll in classes, attend…
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Eric M. Heath Accidentally Sends Safety Email to Hyde Park Crooks, Ne’er-do-wells
The message included a coded map to the location of the spare key to the administration building—guided by a limerick written by Former Dean John Boyer—and the fact that UChicago blue lights are…
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Rockefeller Chapel to Get Sleek, Cool Upgrade Once They Figure Out Who Put That Scaffolding Up There.
University leadership admitted in a press conference Tuesday that the scaffolding was not actually theirs. When asked how this could have happened, University President Paul Alivisatos dabbed his forehead with a gold monogrammed…
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Student Disgusted by “Horripilating” Decline of UChicago’s Intellectual Culture
"I applied ED to this derelict institution under the fatuous impression that it was still a citadel of higher thought. Yet with each passing day I am compoundingly impelled to think that we…
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UChicago Sends Melina Hale to Scope Out Northwestern for Potential Takeover
Hale’s actions have spurred rumors that UChicago is trying to take over a school with fewer Big Ten football wins than it (UChicago 7, Northwestern 0).
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Phoenix AI to Stop Saying Key Words Like Bankruptcy or Debt
“Letting Phoenix AI tell the few students who didn't know about the University’s debts would’ve killed the last bit of fun they had left. Come on, let ‘em live a little.”
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Point: Your Argument Isn’t Supported in the Data/ Counterpoint: I Know So Many More Latin Phrases than You
It seems to me you still have a highly a posteriori frame of mind. But fiat justitia ruat caelum, nevertheless.
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Quantum Mechanics Final to Be Held in One of Seven Locations
"Due to the quantum uncertainty principle, because we know exactly when the exam will be, we are unable to determine exactly where the exam will be until it happens and is observed."