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Masthead

Editors in Chief

Lena Birkholz, Jacob Halabe, Maisie Thompson

Managing Editor

Andrea Zhou

Deputy Managing Editor

Griffin Bonnin Jones

Layout Editor

Abby Beckler

Deputy Layout Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Justin Bilenker, Katherine Reynolds

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • 8=Democracy

    The Dealer’s Georgia Runoff Election Forecasts

    R.E. Stern / January 1, 2021

    Today, the Dealer is proud to release our official county-by-county interactive forecasts of the 2021 Georgia runoff elections for the U.S. Senate. This makes us one of the only data journalism sites willing…

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  • 8=Democracy

    The 2020 Election Explained in Three Charts

    Cameron Chang / October 19, 2020

    Following our colleagues in other largely data-science based news organizations, we’ve conducted a variety of mathematical examinations and statistical quandaries in analysis of the recent elections. Due to some technical difficulties, we were…

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  • 8=Democracy

    Fuck It, We’re Launching a Data Journalism Site

    Chicago Shady Dealer / September 28, 2020

    They said it couldn’t be done. They said it was logistically impossible—we were “students” with “work to get done”. They said we were just a “minor college humor magazine” and that we “didn’t…

    read more
  • 8=Democracy

    We Asked Each State’s Residents Who They Were Voting For. Here’s What They Told Us.

    Ishaan Singh / September 28, 2020

    Collecting national polling results, and filtering out for the ones that had words instead of big numbers, gave us the following easy to follow and mostly accurate polling results. Nate Silver himself rated…

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  • 8=Democracy

    It’s Your God-Given Right to Overreact to the FiveThirtyEight Election Forecast

    R.E. Stern / September 28, 2020

    With political candidates in today’s 24-hour news cycle, it’s less “what have you done for me?” and more “what have you done for me lately?” Who cares which political candidate is best for…

    read more
  • 8=Democracy

    In 2020, Which Issues are UChicago Students Most Concerned About?

    Kate Kaplin / September 28, 2020

    We decided that it was time to leave the dark cramped maintenance closet of our headquarters and hit the streets and see what the people had to say about the key issues this…

    read more

Read It and Weep

  • Utah Replaces All Water Supply With Electrolytes, ‘Cause That’s What Plants Crave
  • [Redacted] is the Best Fucking Frat at UChicago, in a Tolstoyan Sense
  • Non-political Maroon Article Gets View
  • OpenAI Unveils New Model of ChatGPT Capable of Developing Anxiety Disorders
  • Jason Momoa Rocks the Minecraft Movie, Brings in 2000% More Hot Moms than Predicted
  • Major League Baseball Removes Retired Number 42 After Trump Calls Out DEI Agenda
  • Study Finds Jesus’ Crucifixion Likely Hurt a Lot
  • UChicago Booth School of Business Suggests University Impose Tariffs on International Students
  • “The More I See The Kendrick Lamar Halftime Show, The More I Like It!” Says My Aunt Laura
  • Eric M. Heath Accidentally Sends Safety Email to Hyde Park Crooks, Ne’er-do-wells

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