By Jeremy Archer Oct. 20, 2013 CHICAGO – Researchers at the University of Chicago’s Occidental Institute have announced a bold new archaeological initiative to pinpoint the true nature, and ultimate social function, of…

By Hannah Gitlin Aug. 2, 2013 If you’re looking for a good family movie that presents the trials of college and young adulthood in a realistic, relatable way, you’ve probably already laughed with…

By Walker King May 27, 2013 University of Chicago Hospital urologist Dr. Travis Bartman publicized his latest paper today, telling reporters that laughter is truly the best medicine for patients suffering erectile dysfunction.Bartman…

By Timi Koyejo April 25, 2013 After a contentious motion was pushed through by a faction of the Booth House Council, tensions abounded this past Sunday, multiple sources reported. “I had always expected…

By Mark Boykin Feb. 24, 2013 John W. Boyer, Dean of the College at The University of Chicago, has challenged every major and minor deity who exerts influence over natural phenomena to a…

By Chris Deakin Feb. 4, 2013 Having finally returned to the telegraph office after three days of ignoring it, area man George Brittlemeier is reportedly overwhelmed by the number of telegrams left to…

By Hannah Gitlin Jan. 3, 2013 After more than 800,000 Puerto Rican voters voiced support for the island to become the 51st U.S. state, United States lawmakers have determined that “as it stands,…

By Jeremy Wilson Nov. 10, 2012 Peer Health Exchange (PHE) recently expanded their mission from promoting safe sex practices in the surrounding community to helping UChicago students understand how to have sex. In…

By Ricky Stewart Oct. 21, 2012 If you’ve been following the news at all since President Obama took office, you’ve probably heard the rumors about how he’s a Muslim Antichrist sent from Kenya…

By Sam Nitkin Dec. 5, 2018 At 12:38 p.m. on Wednesday, November 27, first-year student Katherine Blake tweeted to her 891 followers, “I don’t live in a bubble!” from the interior of the…