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Editors in Chief

Griffin Bonnin Jones, Andrea Zhou

Managing Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Deputy Managing Editor

Vivian Psylos

Layout Editor

Justin Bilenker

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    New in Literature: Fifty Shades of Maroon, a Glimpse into the Secret Life of Dean John W. Boyer

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By M.E.M.E. Oct. 17, 2016 When a third3rd year Shady Dealer reporter goes to interview American historian and Dean of the College at the University of Chicago, John W. Boyer, he encounters a…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    I Don’t Know Whether I Want to Spend Family Weekend With My Parents or the Pope

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Sofia Garcia Oct. 12, 2016 Family Weekend is here, which means that students will get the opportunity to spend the weekend with their parents in what is sure to be an emotional…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Counterpoint: You Are Crying at a Cheerio

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Morgan’s Sense of Self Awareness Aug. 21, 2016 I’m not going to deny that we live in a male-dominated society which consistently attempts to delegitimize the female experience. However, you are currently…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    We Fucking Hate Pandas

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By University Administration July 8, 2016 Over the past few years, the UChicago Office of Sustainability has worked with campus and community partners on several important projects, including ventures to improve waste reduction…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Area Man totally would have gotten that Goldman Sachs Internship had he applied

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Liam Coles May 13, 2016 Today at around 5PM CST Second Year Economics Major Kenneth Moore was seen overtly lying about his marketability and desirability in the A level of the Regenstein…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Pope Francis and Bernie Sanders Team Up to Become Crime-Fighting Team

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Adam Lowinger May 2, 2016 FollowingAs a result of their brief meeting in the Vatican, in which the two discussed their shared ideology concerning globabl poverty, Pope Francis and Vermont Senator Bernie…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    United States Rewrites Foreign Policy In Wake Of Student Government Decision

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Ryan Fleishman April 22, 2016 Following The University of Chicago Student Government’s majority decision to support the boycott, divest, and sanction resolution against Israel, President Barack Obama and the entire United States…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Bio-Curious Student Registers for Genetics Class

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Morgan Pantuck Feb. 18, 2016 Second-year and self-described “bio-curious” student Jenny Anderson was seen earlier this week registering for BIOS 11128, an introductory biology course for non-majors. Anderson, 19, told the Dealer…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Iowa Caucus Thrusts Itself into Tight Campaign

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Zachary Spitz Feb. 2, 2016 On Monday, after months of vigorous campaigning across the state of Iowa, Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas wascame out on the receiving end of a massive caucus.…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    All the Star Wars Movies, Ranked

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Daniel Ruttenberg, 2046 Jan. 22, 2016 Star Wars Episode XVIII: The Roast of Chewbacca Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope Star Wars Episode…

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  • Applications Open for Admissions Office’s “Spontaneous University Compliment Squad”

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