-
New Residence Hall Located in Dean Boyer’s Tender Embrace
By Thomas Noriega Sept. 24, 2018 In response to the recent housing crisis at the University, College Housing has announced that, as of the 2018-2019 school year, students may apply to live…
-
Uh Oh! That Kid Just Made a Good Point for Once
By Noah Goodman May 25, 2018 THURSDAY 2:00 pm — It appeared to be a typical day in Professor Jones’s section of Self, Culture, and Society. Half the class hadn’t done their reading,…
-
Chicago Fire Followed by Smaller, Dumber UChicago Fire
By Thomas Noriega May 5, 2018 Chicago, 1871 As Chicago struggles to recover from the devastation wrought by the recent inferno, the city was struck once again by tragedy, albeit a far sillier…
-
The Shady Dealer’s Top 10 Recommendations for Making Baseball Shorter in 2018
By Brian Baek April 20, 2018 The 2018 Major League Baseball season officially kicked off earlier this April, and fans across the baseball spectrum already cannot wait for the games to be over.…
-
Just Drink the Damn Tea
By Te Amo Feb. 20, 2018 Te Amo Boba Bar Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard it all, you sniveling chumps. “Ugh, Te Amo’s so expensive”; “Why do I have to pay extra for boba?”;…
-
The White on White Crimes You Need to Know
By Deb Mukerjee Jan. 29, 2018 Losing your friends in the snow Look, it happens. It’s cold and windy and we’re all wearing four pairs of pants and scarves over our seeing sockets.…
-
Six Animals the Div School Wouldn’t Allow Me to Give DMT
By Nik Varley Oct. 17, 2017 Do animals have souls? Does God speak to them? What happens if you give them a ton of DMT? These are the questions I hoped to answer…
-
Letter from the Editors
By James Ekstrom and Christopher Deakin Aug. 6, 2013 Dear Reader, As a First Year, just beginning your college career, you are beset with Orientators, persons of medium authority attempting to orient your…
-
Disappointing Dollar Shake Shatters First Year
By By Thomas Noriega Aug. 17, 2017 As everyone on campus knows, students can get milkshakes in Reynolds Club for a dollar every Wednesday. Newly-minted first year Daniella Heinz had heard all about…
-
Wall Street Is Filled With Evil Capitalist Scum Except My Dad
By Ryan Fleishman May 11, 2017 Wall Street Is Filled With Evil Capitalist Scum Except My DadListen up, sheeple. Now that you’ve spent some time at the University of Chicago, you should be…
