By UIC Student Aug. 2, 2013 I’m so tired of people asking me about UIC. As college students, you’ll understand my struggle. As if it isn’t enough that wehave to have the same…

By Matthew Goldenberg May 27, 2013 As part of the University of Chicago’s effort to revitalize commercial activity in Hyde Park, several new restaurants and stores havebeen established along 53rd and 55th Streets…

By Ben Boyajian April 25, 2013 In breaking news, Robert Zimmer, President of the University, has announced that he is pregnant with twins. Zimmer’s pregnancy came as a surprise – especially given the…

By Anna Newport Feb. 24, 2013 A new study commissioned by the Office of the Dean of Students’ has concluded that many of the academic and personal problems experienced by first-year students stem…

By Nigel Pennington Feb. 4, 2013 Anno Domini 1161—Today, I’d like to talk about today’s hot animal-related topic: dragons. Everyone’s heard of them, nobody’s seen them, but everybody’s afraid of them. Well, there…

By Daniel Moattar Jan. 3, 2013 As the year-end deadline approaches, public ire and political acrimony over the United States’ “Fiscal Cliff” have approached a breaking point. “Leave me alone, you assholes,” said…

By Matthew Goldenberg Nov. 10, 2012 In an unprecedented display of social interaction, a front desk employee at Ratner Athletics Center greeted a patron coming in to exercise by saying “hello” cheerfully. The…

By Hannah Gitlin Oct. 21, 2012 Residents of the University of Chicago’s International House were caught off guard last week when a Christopher Malone stumbled up to the door of the stately building…

By Sam Nitkin Dec. 8, 2018 Growing up a young Jewish boy in a predominantly Christian area, I get it. You never had a Christmas tree. Your attempts to get your dad to…

By John Buterbaugh Dec. 5, 2018 With shades of the seventies, Donald Trump managed to dodge responsibility for yet another conflict: this time, the battle for the U.S. House of Representatives. At a press…