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Don’t Miss This Deal! Housing Offers Three Roommates for the Price of One
By Andy Hatem Sept. 24, 2018 Trying to decide if you should stay in housing next year? Check College Housing’s site for a deal you won’t want to miss! In the past,…
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Op-Ed: Bill Gates, Support Journalism On-Campus by Setting Up a Trust Fund For Us
By Ella Hester May 25, 2018 Dear Bill Gates, Thank you so much for buying property near our storied university. We have no clues as to your motivations, so we’re hoping you just…
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A Letter from the Vice Provost on Manifest Destiny: “To the Maroons of the Future”
By Killian Makepeace Warburton May 5, 2018 Chicago, 1895 The Shady Dealer staff was digging up the foundations of Cobb for no particular reason, and discovered a small metal capsule containing a letter…
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Paul Ryan Resigns: Plans to “Spend More Time Silently Staring at the Wall While Hugging His Knees”
By Nik Varley April 20, 2018 Speaker of the House Paul Ryan surprised Washington this week by announcing that he will not seek re-election in the upcoming midterms. The speaker is reportedly giving…
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Campus Blue Lights form Union
By Jalen Jiang Feb. 20, 2018 A contingent of campus-wide emergency phones voted in favor of forming a union, with 192 of the inanimate steel posts casting ‘YES’ votes over 95 ‘NO’…
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Ask Student Health!
By Student Health Services and Student Counseling Services Jan. 30, 2018 Introducing “Ask Student Health!,” a weekly feature wherein UChicago’s very own physicians and counselors answer your health and wellness questions! After your…
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5 Fall Activities That Will Give You a UTI
By Ella Hester Oct. 17, 2017 The air is crisp, the leaves are falling, and you are definitely going to get a UTI. Urinary tract infections are incredibly common for people of…
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Opinion: Call Me a Millennial Again, and I Will Summon the Pumpkin Lord
By Jacob Johnson Oct. 17, 2017 As a twenty-year-old living in this country, I am so fed up with being labeled as a “millennial.””. The term has grown to encapsulate everyone in my…
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Letters from Home: It’s Grandpa. Do They Have Free Speech on Your Campus?
By Grandad (Sam Hoffman) Aug. 17, 2017 Hi Sweetie, this is Grandpa. I hope this letter finds you well, and I hope you’re not out there having too much fun! I hear a…
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An Alphabetical Guide to Parties
By Chase Harrison May 15, 2017 Darties. Garties. RacistConstructionThemedarties. Who can keep track of all the types of parties these days? I can. Yes, I, Chase Harrison, Chief Correspondent of the Shady Dealer…
