“Could You Clarify What You Mean by That?” Asks Professor Who Hates You
COBB 203 — The depth of your Classics of Social and Political Thought II professor’s loathing for you was made abundantly clear on Wednesday when she responded to a comment you made in class by asking, “Could you clarify what you mean by that?”
The question was posed following your half-formed idea about Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s The Social Contract. “Really, I wasn’t even sure my interpretation was correct,” you told the Dealer in an hour-long interview (available for download on Spotify). “I just said it to get class credit, because thirty percent of our grade comes from discussion participation.”
However, your professor was quick to seize upon the vagueness of your thought, which confirmed in her eyes your irremediable stupidity. “Oh, that’s interesting,” she said, maliciously. “Could you clarify what you mean by that?” What followed was a bumbling, incoherent heap of bullshit that tumbled out of your mouth as your professor looked on with sadistic glee.
“I’m such a fucking idiot,” you told the Dealer. “I’m so fucking stupid and she knows it, and she wants me to know that she knows it, because she hates me. She hates me. Oh my God, why can’t I do anything right? God I’m so stupid.”
When asked by the Dealer, your classmates universally agreed that you were a contemptible moron and a blight on the University.
Griffin is the deputy managing editor for this paper, and was born early in the morning.
