First Year Really Wants You to Know She Also Got into Yale

BARTLETT DINING COMMONS – Only two minutes into the conversation, a girl you’ve been talking to at your house table has made an astonishing announcement: she also got into Yale. This impressive declaration comes from first year student Cynthia Fang, who quickly clarifies  that while she was accepted into Yale, she ultimately chose UChicago “because there’s better Econ here.”

The announcement, which takes place during an entirely unrelated conversation about Hum classes, sends ripples through the cafeteria. Some express shock that a person admitted to an elite university like Yale deigns to walk among the students at UChicago, while others silently curse themselves for not mentioning their own admission to Yale earlier.