At 9:30 p.m. on Saturday, September 25, a sloth of American black bears (Ursus americanus) was reported inside the PIKE fraternity house. After getting over our befuddlement at the fact that a group of bears is apparently called a “sloth,” our intrepid reporters quickly rushed to the scene. Dejected PIKE brothers milled about outside as low snuffling and growling sounds emanated from inside the building. Luckily, no one was injured or hurt, but the bears remained on scene, despite the entreaties of all involved for them to “please go away.” Having nothing better to do, we decided to interview UChicago’s top wildlife biologist and neurology expert, Dr. Ivo Lutton, as…

Hello new students! O-week is finally unfolding, and we hope you’re ready to meet your peers. Knowing this school, and the kinds of people it attracts, it is only natural that many of you have never actually spoken to a person, so we know that making a good first impression can be hard. But do not fret! We at the Shady Dealer know that our experience as upperclassmen is valuable, so we offer you a couple of tips to avoid becoming a laughingstock on campus. These methods are tried and true.   1: That guy who smirks when someone says they live in BJ The kind of man who makes…

It’s that time of the year again: back to school sales are starting, temperatures are cooling, and college students across the country are preparing to return to campus for what they hope may be a more typical academic year. The University of Chicago is no different – even though first years will have almost one more month of anticipation to build up before their classes start, compared to their friends at semester schools. Certainly, the experience of being on campus for O-Week is unlike any other. You constantly meet new people while asking yourself if they will be a friend for four years or just another person you mutually ignore…