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Editors in Chief

Griffin Bonnin Jones, Andrea Zhou

Managing Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Deputy Managing Editor

Vivian Psylos

Layout Editor

Justin Bilenker

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Obituaries (Special Pre-Screening)

    / October 6, 2019

    In the spirit of the new school year, we at the Shady Dealer have decided to plan ahead for a change, “fall”-ing forward into the quarter’s warm embrace before “spring”-ing back into our…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    College Republicans Hold “We Swear We Aren’t Evil” Party for Incoming First-years

    / October 3, 2019

    Responding to concerns raised by anyone with a conscience, UChicago College Republicans has announced an O-Week party called “We Swear We Aren’t Evil” in an effort to reach out to incoming first-years. In…

    read more
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  • Trans Fats Banned a Second Time for Being Woke
  • The Campus Printer Decides My Essay Is Simply Not Meant to Be
  • Alivisatos to Demolish the “bad parts” of Harper Library for a square-dancing arena
  • University installs large trapdoor in the Reg that swallows students, Tuition still Rising
  • Professor Who Takes Ten Weeks to Grade Papers Shocked by Late Assignment
  • Everyone Saw You Press “No Tip”

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