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Editors in Chief

Griffin Bonnin Jones, Andrea Zhou

Managing Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Deputy Managing Editor

Vivian Psylos

Layout Editor

Justin Bilenker

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Obituaries (Special Pre-Screening)

    / October 6, 2019

    In the spirit of the new school year, we at the Shady Dealer have decided to plan ahead for a change, “fall”-ing forward into the quarter’s warm embrace before “spring”-ing back into our…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    College Republicans Hold “We Swear We Aren’t Evil” Party for Incoming First-years

    / October 3, 2019

    Responding to concerns raised by anyone with a conscience, UChicago College Republicans has announced an O-Week party called “We Swear We Aren’t Evil” in an effort to reach out to incoming first-years. In…

    read more
Newer Posts 

Read It and Weep

  • All Microeconomics 101 Students Swapped into Beginner Akkadian in Add-Drop Fiasco
  • First Year Formally Reprimanded for Failing to Intellectualize Homesickness
  • University to introduce affirmative action for guys named Sean (Shaun and Shawn excluded)
  • In his second memoir, “Ignore My First One,” Vance reveals that the root of his anger toward Zelensky was his thick lashes.
  • 12 Days of UChicago Finals
  • LA Dodgers Fan finds out the Dodgers are a Baseball team and not a Hat Company
  • 5 Movies to Reject the Christmas Spirit while still saying you’re watching a Christmas Movie
  • Catholic Family Realizes They’re Nation’s Last Practitioners of the Advent Wreath; Experts Confirm the Three Kings Are “Not Coming, Don’t Wait Up”
  • UChicago Tour Guide Fired after Confirming “Where Fun Goes to Die” Culture on Tour
  • Air Force Forms Task Force of Skydiving Spiders

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