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Fun Burned in Effigy in Annual Ceremony
By Sam Hoffman Aug. 17, 2017 At the stroke of midnight on Friday, September 15, a select group of O-Aides, Dean Boyer, and 13 professors chosen by lottery met in the exact center…
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Letters from Home: It’s Grandpa. Do They Have Free Speech on Your Campus?
By Grandad (Sam Hoffman) Aug. 17, 2017 Hi Sweetie, this is Grandpa. I hope this letter finds you well, and I hope you’re not out there having too much fun! I hear a…
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Researchers Discover Dog Dreams Exactly The Same As Dog Reality
By Greer Baxter Aug. 18, 2017 In partnership with the University of Nome, scientists from UofChicago have recently concluded a series of canine sleep experiments, the results of which confirmed what many had…
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I Don’t Have to Prove My Non-Celiac Wheat Sensitivity to You Or Anyone Else
By Greer Baxter Aug. 18, 2017 Let me just say right here and now that I’m not taking any crap from anyone on this. No, I don’t have cCeliac disease (there, I said…
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Report: Filthy Apartment Has No-Shoes Policy
By Alan Weisz Aug. 18, 2017 Despite strictly enforcing their stringent “no shoes allowed” policy since they moved in last June, the residents of 5132 Greenwood Ave., Apt. 3A, have, by all accounts,…
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Surviving First Year in a Post Pratt-Faris Separation World
By Greer Baxter Aug. 18, 2017 It was daunting enough handling first year at UChicago during the magical era of romantic idealism made possible bywhenile it was still possible to onecould still bask…
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The Dos and Don’ts of Sorority Recruitment
By Chase Harrison and Yamini Nambimadom Aug. 22, 2017 It’s the moment every girl dreamed of since they were young: Sorority Recruitment at the University of Chicago! The moment when young co-eds have…
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My Day in the Marketplace of Ideas
By Chase Harrison Aug. 22, 2017 My Day in the Marketplace of Ideas By Chase Harrison The letter arrived in my mailbox with a flourish, shooting into my house. Was this FINALLY…
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5 Things You CAN Stare at directly
By Nik Varley Aug. 23, 2017 The Solar Eclipse has come and gone, which means that you can go back to staring at anything for as long as you want! Here are our…
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UC Leaks
By Leaked Docs Reveal Budgetary Chaos and Ambitious Plans Aug. 25, 2017 On August 8, a CSD reporter from the Dealer identified sSeventy– eight pages of internal uUniversity documents amidst a stack of…
