Why I Only Eat Non-GMO Ass

By Megan Parsons

Feb. 20, 2018

If you’re a smart shopper, you already know why it’s important to eat organic, free-range ass without additives or artificial preservatives. Personally, I like my ass without toxic chemicals, thank you very much! But what about GMOs? Advocates claim that eating genetically modified ass is perfectly safe, but the truth may not be so simple.

Genetically modified organisms, or GMOS, are living entities whose genetic material has been artificially manipulated in a laboratory (eek!) to produce more desirable qualities, such as having pesticide resistance or being extra thicc. GMOs have caused widespread controversy due to unresolved safety concerns and fear that these “frankenfoods” will contaminate our natural ecosystem.

The government refuses to mandate labeling for GMO products. Thus, millions of Americans eat ass every day without knowing they contain GMOs. Moreover, due to their widespread use, it is very difficult to find an ass to spread wide that doesn’t include any GMO components. That’s why it’s important to read the ingredient list on each and every ass that you eat, even if you shop at “healthy” grocery stores like Hole Foods.

Bottom line: whether you’re tossing a salad in the kitchen or in the bedroom, you want to take every precaution to avoid insidious GMOs–no matter how far up there they’re hidden.