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March 27, 2017
President Trump and his administration have conducted a veritable campaign of fear across American politics over the first three months of his presidency. Many people and celebrities protested against Trump’s actions, but nothing has changed. That is, until now. Vanilla Ice has officially denounced Donald Trump as a failure of a president and a businessman. T, and the American public is rallying behind him.
That’s right., Vanilla Ice. Chilly McFreeze, the lyrical assassin. America’s most beloved ice-themed musical icon is taking a break from dropping bars to lay a cold burn on the President himself.
“Stop, collaborate and listen, Ice is back with a brand-new mission. And that mission is protecting the poor and helpless from the tyrannical actions of Donald J. Trump,” said Vanilla Ice, whose hit single “Ice Ice Baby” became the first #1 hip hop single to top the Billboard charts in 1990. “Trump’s irresponsible actions in the White House and calculated attacks on the Constitution are blowing my brain like a poisonous mushroom.”
Vanilla Ice may be the perfect figure to call Trump out; Ice has carved his path through the real estate business since 1995. Let me tell you folks, Vanilla Ice isn’t just flipping houses in the Arctic. Donald may have hosted the Celebrity Apprentice, but Vanilla Ice created the hit television series The Vanilla Ice Project in which he personally renovates houses in Palm Beach, Florida. Vanilla even published a real estate guide book in 2011 named Vanilla Ice Project – Real Estate Guide that he released for free on his website http://www.vanillaicerealestate.com entirely out of his good grace. Move over, Art of The Deal!
“Any government that opposes the media, free speech, and free will is a government in which I am not willing to participate. I should know.; I played Mark Twain in Adam Sandler’s summer blockbuster The Ridiculous Six,” said Vanilla Ice.
People across the country are rallying behind Vanilla Ice’s message. “Hell yeah bro, ‘Ice Ice Baby’ is my freakin’ jam,” said local Trump supporter turned activist Chet Whiteman, one of the millions of Trump supporters converting because of Ice’s words. “I was all aboard the Trump train, choo choo, you know? But Vanilla Ice is freakin’ real, and Vanilla Ice is saying Trump is bad, and I gotta believe him, you know? Fuck, man. You got any crystal meth?”
Vanilla Ice is a gifted wordsmith, expert real estate mogul, and sponsored jet ski racer. This man could do anything he wanted. However, Vanilla Ice is spitting icicles towards the errant U.S. president and we are behind him every step of the way. Mic drop!
