Terms of Your Lease You Will Regret Not Reading
By Diane Zimmerman
May 29, 2013
The lease for your new apartment is one of the most important legal documents that you will skim during your time in college. To help you bear the weight of this responsibility, the legal team here at The Chicago Shady Dealer has reviewed some of the most common lease terms and reprints them here as a courtesy, this time in full-sized font.
- The Lease will endure for a period of one year, or twelve (12) months. The Tenant agrees to pay a monthly rent of $800 (eight hundred dollars). This amount is subject to change at any time, with or without notice. The Tenant may at no time be released from this contract for its duration. In case of death, the Tenant’s estate will be responsible for the remaining payments. In case of death without issue, the Proprietor may demand the soul of the tenant.
- The Tenant hereby agrees to love and to cherish, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, the Proprietor, as long as they both shall be bound by this contract. Love means never suing the Proprietor no matter what.
- Should the Tenant reach a decibel level above ten, have overnight guests, break something, stick anything out the window, fail to wear pink on a Wednesday, or talk about Fight Club, the Tenant will be evicted immediately.
- The Residence is not legally part of Illinois. The Tenant is not entitled to emergency medical care, voter registration, or the protections of the First, Third, Eighth, and Twenty-First amendments to the United States Constitution.
- This residence is owned and operated by MAC Property Management.
