Tensions Run High at House Council Meeting
By Timi Koyejo
April 25, 2013
After a contentious motion was pushed through by a faction of the Booth House Council, tensions abounded this past Sunday, multiple sources reported. “I had always expected it to be a tough vote, with this being such a hot-button issue,” said Social Chair Michelle Jiang, “but I never expected the tensions to escalate to the levels that they did.”
Emotions are still very raw after the marathon debate session, which was punctuated with a three-hour filibuster against the motion byHealth Czar Max Titsworth.. “I’m simply repulsed by the council’s decision,” said Titsworth of the previous night’s tense meeting.
Barbs were traded between council members under the pretense of friendly jest for the duration of the tense meeting. Comments including “No wonder no one likes you,” and “Die,“ were followed by hollow laughter and forced smiles as the thin facade of civility restraining the council members from showing abject disdain for one another began to fade.
Halfway through the meeting, the Vice President, Michael Modak-Truan, is reported to have stormed out in disgust after the fourteenth vote on the motion. Modak-Truan has since characterized his spirited departure as the result of “A sudden urge to vomit.” After making a particularly bitter remark , Modak-Truan is reported to haveremarked that, “He was only saying what everyone else was thinking.” Residents of the building reported that shouts were often heard emanating into the hallway from the charged meeting, including thosefrom an especially candid screaming exchange between the Treasurer, Sean Reynolds, and Fundraising Chair, Hype Augustine.
The meeting culminated in half of the council’s resignation in protest, leaving the house in disarray and with a potential constitutional crisis on its hands. House President Julian Martinez expressed surprise at the controversy the vote created, “Quite frankly, I’m shocked that a vote deciding what color our House t-shirts should be was this controversial. I mean, who doesn’t love mustard yellow?” At press me, council members were said to be organizing impeachment proceedings againstPresident Martinez on grounds of “high crimes and misdemeanors against humanity,”
