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Jan. 17, 2017
1. The Double-State Solution
This steamy sexual solution towards one of the greatest geopolitical conflicts of our time has two states pumping at once. While getting a hot-n-horny with two states at once seems like a wet dream, there are some real problems. Getting drilled by Israel on the top and Palestine on bottom is hot as fuck, but both Israel and Palestine really want to be the top and will probably blow up over it. God forbid if their balls touch at the Gaza Strip.
2. The Gangbang
This one is an oldy but a goody that harkens back to the early days of Israel where Egypt, Jordan, and all their Arab League pals came around and exploded on Israel. I’m talking 8-way ticket to the bone zone from every entrance angle. You’d think Israel would be overpowered from getting shafted like that, but somehow Israel keeps pace and fucks some countries back.
3. Surprise Settlements
This new-age territorial splattering is when Israel ignores all Condomtutional protections and splatters settlements right inside of Palestine without permission, as well as on its chest and face. Palestine absolutely hates it and most other countries think it is a dick move, but Israel’s gotta blow that load somewhere amirite?
4. Solo Play
In this self-pleasuring spectacle, either Israel or Palestine violently murders and/or exiles the other country, and has some masturbatory fun on their own. Both Israel and Palestine want to pull of this position desperately, but the rest of the world agrees that the two countries are entwined for life at this point, and the whole murder and/or exile part is kinda messed up. While it is on the list, this is honestly not a great sexual position on the conflict at all. It takes two to tango!
5. The 69 Of Coexistence
Here, Israel and Palestine put aside their different kinks and preferences and have sex as equals with equal pleasure for all. This is the political and sexual equivalent of Paradise, where Israel forgives Palestine for all the murdering, Palestine forgive Israel for all the oppressing, and they both come together to make passionate love. It the sexiest of all positions, but alas, it is but a dream.
6. Cowboy
This insane fucktacular of depravity features Israel and Palestine blowing each other to submission, when America swoops in and just fucking drills everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. This positions is so great because it features oil, nature’s lubrication. And let’s face it folks, America has the biggest cock around. A fan favorite!
