Seven Healthy Butter Substitutes

By Megan Parsons

Jan. 29, 2018

Hey there, everyone, Megan here, aka Meg, aka Super Mommy. Trying to eat healthier in 2018? Have no fear! Eating well can be daunting, but these seven healthy butter substitutes can help you stick to your fitness goals!!

1. Unsweetened applesauce

When I first read about using applesauce instead of oil for blueberry muffins, I felt like my world was crashing down around me. I simply cannot believe this,” I said to Sparkle, my beloved schnauzer-terrier mix. But, lo and behold, I tried it out, and neither Sparkle nor I can tell the difference between my old, fatty muffins and my new, wholesome, appley ones. They’re literally identical! I swear!!

2. Mashed Avocado

The creaminess and subtle flavor of avocado makes for a truly satisfying fudge brownie, as long as it’s been so long since you ate a brownie that it’s more of an abstract concept and less of an actual memory that you possess.

3. Banana Puree 

My husband Dave was skeptical at first when I suggested making chocolate chip cookies with banana instead of butter, but I said, Dave! You made fun of the way my arms wiggle and now you have to eat fucking banana cookies! Plus, bananas add nutrients like potassium, fiber, and vitamin B6. Yummy!!

4. A gentle breeze

This one is a miracle, truly. Just add a gentle, preferably summer breeze into your zucchini noodles, and the air particles act just like butter! I swear, you’ll be shaking your head like, whaaaat? Me? Lightheaded?

5. Maybe butter is just a feeling, you know?

Butter. Butter. It’s weird when you say it too many times. Am I saying it right? Buh buh buh. Neeeeeyow.

6. We are all butter, in a way.

My friend Cindy goes to Zen Meditation and she pointed this out to me.

7. An entire package of Oreos

Fuck this shit.