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Feb. 18, 2016
Despite overall campus diversity statistics , a recent study by the Shady Dealer revealed that 80% of the people in your students in SOSC classes, college-wide, are still just white guys with brown hair and tortoise shell glasses. Deputy Provost for Research Minority Issues William A. McDade sounded off his shock at the study. “The University has taken major steps in the past few years to increase racial representation on campus. We want a large cross-section of perspectives present in each and every classroom. I have no idea how this keeps happening.” However, some felt that the study just confirmed suspicions they had for months. 1stFirst- year Stephanie Powers stated, “Sometimes I felt like 80% of the kids in my SOSC class were half-zip wearing guys half-committing to the hipster look but I always just assumed that it was just because they talked 80% of the time. Knowing that they are actually that overrepresented makes a lot of sense.” The Shady Dealer talked tointerviewed one of these white guys: second-2nd year Robert Brown. “Well, I was listening to a podcast recently,” MichaelBrown began. 30 minutes later, the Shady Dealer did not actually get a response to the study from MichaelBrown, but learned a lot about how influential his Bar Mitzvah was to his reading of Nicomachean Ethics.Despite overall campus diversity statistics, a recent study by the Shady Dealer revealed that 80% of students in SOSC classes college-wide are still just white guys with brown hair and tortoise shell glasses.
Deputy Provost for Research and Minority Issues William A. McDade sounded off his shock at the study. “The University has taken major steps in the past few years to increase racial representation on campus. We want a large cross-section of perspectives present in each and every classroom. I have no idea how this keeps happening.”
However, some felt that the study just confirmed suspicions they had for months. First– year Stephanie Port stated, “Sometimes I felt like 80% of the kids in my SOSC class were half-zip wearing guys half-committing to the hipster look, but I always just assumed that it was just because they talked 80% of the time. Knowing that they are actually that overrepresented makes a lot of sense.”
The Shady Dealer interviewed talked to interviewed interone of these white guys, sSecond– year Robert Brown. “Well, I was listening to a podcast recently,” Brown began. 30 minutes later, the Shady Dealer had not received a response to the study from BrownMichael, but rather learned a lot about how influential his Bar Mitzvah was to his reading of Capital.
Deputy Provost McDade announced that the University had a new initiative to address this problem. “Look, we’ve tried time and time again to diversify this campus. Then we realized: maybe the problem is really the lack of diversity among white guys. I mean, why are they all so similar? That’s why the University is starting a program to provide free makeovers to all students,.” he announced.
When asked about the new proposal, Brown was initially unenthused.We talked to Brown about the initiative. “When they asked me swap out my tortoise shell frames for metal frames, I was skeptical. However, I realized that I had to do whatever was in my power to make others feel more comfortable,.” hHe saidstated, “I’m not taking off the Patagonia, though.”
