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Nov. 20, 2015
In an unexpected turn of events, the Major Activities Board has officially announced this Wednesday that Nirvana will not be able to perform at this year’s Summer Breeze festival. This announcement goes against months of student speculation of the Summer Breeze line up, and has left student Nirvana fans like third-year Visual Arts major Walter Brown wildly disappointed.
“We’ve been gunning for a Nirvana performance at Summer Breeze for years now, so naturally I was disappointed to hear our dreams barrel out the window,” Brown saidsaid Nirvana supporter and humanities major Walter Brown. “It blewows my mind how the university misseds out on the band of the century like this.”
The desire for a Nirvana concert was no shot in the dark. This announcement runs contrary to the many signs suggesting a Nirvana appearance over the last month and a half. Just last Friday, students sighted Dave Grohl splitting a ham and cheese baguette with President Zimmerman in Plein Air. Naturally, experts assumed Zimmerman was taking aim at a Nirvana appearance, but clearly the president was not locked and loaded.
The Major Activities Board confirmed that Nirvana was scheduled to perform at some point, but had to cancel due tofor unforeseen circumstances. In hindsight, this is not much of a surprise, as Kurt Cobain hads always been somewhat of a loose cannon.
“Unfortunately, we are now looking at a shotgun wedding of sorts for the upcoming concert,” said Major Activities Board correspondent Jackson Shire. “We just have to bite the bullet and hope that the missing Nirvana concert won’t blow up on us.”
In place of Nirvana, the Major Activities Board has scheduled a guest showing of the up-and-coming band Foo Fighters, who sport a similar sound.
