Magellan’s Crew: Wouldn’t it have been cooler if the Earth was flat?

By Matthew Goldenberg

Feb. 4, 2013

1522 – Breaking their silence for the first time in the three weeks since returning from their circumnavigation of the Earth, members of Captain Ferdinand Magellan’s crew spoke of their experiences, hopes, and regrets of regarding the voyage. Three sailors sat down with The Chicago Shady Dealer to discuss what it was like to be a part of the first crew to sail all the way around the world, despite the fact that it is round.

When the crew set sail in 1519, they realized they would accomplish an impressive feat. However, said sailor Jorge Flores , “It really would have been more impressive if the world was flat. I mean, think about it. We just sailed on and we couldn’t tell that the world was round; we didn’t fall off. But if the world was flat we would’ve had more adventures.”

Other sailors shared Flores’ sentiments. They feel that if Magellan and his crew had been able to sail off the edge of a flat Earth, and then manage to return to the other side still on their ships, they would have been praised more for their deeds.

“Sure, we did something no one had ever done,” says Hernán Flatulencia, “But floating through space, the cosmos, in a ship that should be in water is amazing! Nobody can even comprehend that.”

Sailors feel Magellan would have left a greater personal legacy as well. Some say that the new technologies and science that would have been necessary would require great ingenuity. Others dismiss the thought as ludicrous.

“I highly doubt humans will ever be able to travel through air like birds,” said Guillermo de la Gallina. “That is completely preposterous. We weigh too much. Everything falls down. Everything.”

Pressed for his opinion, Gallina admitted that if it were possible to sail in the air, it would be cool. He agrees that Magellan would go down in history as accomplishing the greatest feat ever.

“Captain Magellan could not have done anything more impressive than circumnavigating a flat Earth,” Flores stated.

On further questioning, the sailors eventually conceded that Magellan’s feat would also have been more impressive if instead of dying in the Philippines, Ferdinand Magellan had actually survived his entire voyage around the Earth.