Local resident wanders into I-House drunk at 2 am demanding waffles

By Hannah Gitlin

Oct. 21, 2012

Residents of the University of Chicago’s International House were caught off guard last week when a Christopher Malone stumbled up to the door of the stately building — which, at any given time, might host statesmen, authors, and other notable figures from across the world— and demanded an order of chocolate chip waffles with “lots of syrup, maybe the kind that’s blue or red also… yeah, the red syrup ”

University of Chicago student and International House resident Jack Francis told the Dealer, “This kind of stuff happens all the time. Really, a few times a week, there are intoxicated people rummaging around the lobby looking for menus and trying to see if they have enough quarters to pay for a jumbo order of French toast. It’s a little funny. A lot funny. Also, we’re not a restaurant. Can you print that so people know?”

Malone, the demander of waffles, also confused the US ambassador to Liechtenstein, who was visiting I-House, with an off-duty waiter who “wouldn’t fuckin’ open the [hiccup] door even though everyone knows this place is open until like a… bajillion o’clock in the [hiccup] mernngg.”

Mr. Malone refused further comment on the incident, instead noting “[hiccup] No waffles? … I’ll go get a McLean burger.”