I’m So Pumped for Scab Hunt

By Morgan Pantuck

April 20, 2014

When I applied to college, I toured a lot of impressive campuses. But UChicago was different. More exciting, somehow. Initially, I loved the intellectual atmosphere and “quirky” student vibe. But everything truly fell into place when I heard about Scab Hunt. As an avid scab collector, nothing brings me more joy than slowly, delicately peeling a fresh scab from the surface of a recently injured calf or forearm and adding it to one of 20 jars based on size, texture, and color. I used to think that I would never find a companion with whom to spend long hours relishing the sweet, blissful release only scab removal can bring, let alone whole teams of them. I mean, most people don’t even know that scabs are made of platelets and fibrin, and taste like salty potato chips. But when I found out that students here love scabs as much as I do, and spend four whole days finding them all over campus, well, that’s when the stars aligned. Where fun goes to die? More like where fun goes to pry… the cracked, oozing crust from quivering flesh. That’s how I knew that UChicago was the place where I truly belonged.