I Heard Our Football Team Might Actually be Pretty Good This Year
By Jacob Levin- Sports Editor
Oct. 20, 2015
I know what you’re thinking. This is the University of Chicago, a school better known for its rigorous academics, storied traditions, and wild frat parties than for its sports. But according to various sources, we actually have a really good football team this year, and from what I’ve heard, we’re only a few quality wins away from the World Series.
We have this guy, he’s got an absolute cannon for an arm. I’m forgetting his name right now- I think it’s something with an A. Arrieto maybe? Anyways, he’s been on a tear since the Break (don’t we all come back from Summer Break in peak shape?). He went to TCU originally, but he must’ve transferred to Chicago this year. What a steal!
Our defense has been just as impressive as our offense this year. I haven’t seen too much tackling, but boy, can we catch the ball. The coach put this first year into a starting spot halfway through the season, and this kid is already one of the best defenders in the country. He may be young, but you should see the way he glides on the field. He is definitely the shortstop of the future for this team.
Here’s a fun fact: the previous record for most wins in a college football season was 14. Can you guess how many we already have, not even counting the playoffs? 97! That’s right, we SHATTERED that record. I guess you could say that Chicago sports are trending upward. I don’t want to jinx it, but I really think that this is the year that our 107 year drought is going to end.
I just wish all of Chicago sports could be going this well.
