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Oct. 22, 2015
At a news conference yesterday in Boston, chuckling economists presented the results of a series of studies showing that the fishing industry is, ahem, floundering.
Lead researcher Doray Fischer tried hard not to giggle audibly while revealing that the livelihood of thousands of Boston-area residents was being eroded by overfishing and climate change.
“There has been a steep loss of cod and haddock populations off the New England coast, and so the fishing industry is, unfortunately, floundering,” she snickered.
“Some of you mightmay be thinking, ‘Holy mackerel!’” she tittered. “But instead of just carping about it, we should remember that, while there is no sole solution, there is always a ray of hope.”
Dr. Fischer paused to compose herself, sniggering, “OOverconsumption is not a red herring! It’s a whale of a problem.”
“Americans are wolfing down copious amounts of fish, and it’s simply unsustainable,” laughed Dr. Fischer, apparently nearing the end of her supply having run out of fishpiscine puns. “This problem’s going to keep dogging us until we find a way to weasel out of such a large-scale situation.”
The team of cracking-uplaughing economists also reported that they “bugged out” after conducting a survey of the nation’s butterfly populations.
