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May 26, 2015
Yoga practitioners faced an expanded repertoire last week, as new asanas were added by the Yoga Council to the official list of yoga poses. Most discussed among the additions was the “Gay Marriage Stance,” withhich comes in several variations popularized largely by candidatescandidates for the U.S. Presidency in the 2016 presidential election.
“The Gay Marriage Stance is a demanding pose, appropriate only for the most experienced students of yoga,” said Dwayne Prasad, director of Chicago’s Yoga4U studio. “Properly executed, the Gay Marriage Stance involves many twists and turns. It requires great flexibility and control. It cannot be completely taught; —rather, an individual must find arrive at their own, unique Gay Marriage Stance through constant practice and meditation. And in its truest form, the Gay Marriage Stance is completely opaque to onlookers and observers.”
Despite the warnings of experts that the Gay Marriage Stance should only be attempted in a controlled environment, and then only after proper training, several peoplewould-be practicioners faced severe embarrassment on their first public attempt of the pose. Oswald Ishaigura of Lake Placid, New YorkY, who was raised in a conservative family, but has two openly gay sons, collapsed dramatically as he tried to assume the pose in his local studio. Omar Petersen, of Forest Park, IllinoisL, similarly lost his balance, apparently because he entered the pose distracted by his duties as a Boy Scout lleader of a Boy Scout troop.
Safety experts advised that those wantingseeking to achievepractice the full Gay Marriage Stance should first consult with their local polling outfitcompany, to best assess the risks and benefits of working towards the asana. Senator Ted Cruz, one oamongf the politicians who initially promoted the Gay Marriage Stance, reported that he was “continuing to innovate” in the posestance, and in particular was developing best practices to maintain the posestance in “extreme” environments, such as on rugged campaign trails, in evangelical churches, and at gay weddings.
