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Oct. 13, 2016
We’ve all been there. You‘re are making your way back to your dorm after a long night of studying, only to find a sock has been sloppily cast upon your doorknob. You’ve just been sexiled. But what can you do to pass the time until your roommate finally busts a fat nutty buddy on that ass? ? The The Th The Chicago Shady Dealer has compiled a list of our favorite things to do while your roommate empties the pipes.
1. Cheer them on
(This tried-and-true method never fails?) This method is proven effective!. It is the quickest way to get back into your room. In order to further stimulate your roommate, you need to encourage their sexual promiscuity with a little cheer. This will get them to climax and you into your bed faster. A personal favorite cheer of mine is: “fuck ‘em, suck ‘em, please go down, jerk it, twerk it, cum ‘til you drown!”
2. Sexile everyone from the lounge
The best way to bring attention to your issue is to get other people involved. If you’re getting sexiled, go into the lounge and masturbate. Remember: it’s sex even when it’s with yourself! Chances are people will start paying attention to you and take you seriously!
3. Sample their climax and use it to create a hit song
What better way to get revenge than to use your roommate’s soft grunting as the sample to this year’s next biggest hit? Not only will you become rich and famous, but they won’t be able to escape the constant reminders of their sexual escapade!
4. Install a glory hole
Why should your roommate get laid while you wait? Take the waiting out of it! Install a gloryhole either in your door or in your neighbor’s wall, so you can get some action without your roommate ever knowing! Genius!
